'Heart Eyes' Mostly Delivers on its Laughs and Gore
January to February are the months of mid horror flicks. From the forgettable Wolf Man (which I've changed my mind on) to Heart Eyes, audiences are getting their fair share of blood. What differentiates Heart Eyes from Wolf Man is that it doesn't take itself so seriously. Despite trying to dive deep into parental abuse, Wolf Man is still a movie where a guy turns into a werewolf, which I can't watch without giggling a little. The extra layers of drama made the film feel more like a Hallmark movie than a legitimately scary horror film. Thankfully, that's not the case with Heart Eyes. The movie is laugh-out-loud funny while being fully engrossed in its pleasure for gore.
The film opens like a wedding gift card commercial. Madeline and Patrick (who I'd credit the actors for if IMDB didn't have their names missing from the cast list) get married in an idealistic golden hour sunset. It turns out the two are faking their vows for a video capturing their big moment. Is it an ad? Perhaps. Soon, the cameraman, who's getting a lot of flack from the couple, gets stabbed through the eye when a big, sharp knife penetrates the long lens he's shooting on. Next are the two lovers who get a couple of cool kills. Then, the film cuts to a series of news beats outlining the film's villain. The Heart Eyes Killer. Heart Eyes specifically target couples. The killer's streak is coming around just around the right time as he makes Seattle his next point of attack during Valentine's Day.
Ally (Olivia Holt) has a little meet-cute with tall, handsome, successful, and charismatic Jay Simmons (Mason Gooding). They meet in a coffee shop while physically bumping heads accidentally. Shortly afterward, Ally is reprimanded by her boss for making a violent Valentine's Day ad. To correct her errors, Ally is assigned to work with Jay, who just so happens to be a new hire in Ally's advertising firm. Their assignment is to come up with a new ad.
Heart Eyes plays better as a rom-com than a horror movie. That's not necessarily a bad thing, as it lands the laughs in all the right places. It's a film where you will enjoy the bloodshed perhaps more than you should, but hey, all of us sickos know why we're coming to see this film in the first place, for some quality kills. Luckily, Heart Eyes has plenty of them. From a woman being crushed to death to an awesome beheading, Heart Eyes is a blood-soaked joy that doesn't overstay its welcome... mostly.
There are moments when the movie drags. Thankfully, there are not a lot of instances like that. One that comes to mind is when Ally decides to run wild with a credit card, going on a shopping spree. There's also an overreliance on news beats to tell the story. Although, I don't mind the media dictatitng the story when the story is about a media sensation. The Heart Eyes Killer is a notorious serial killer in the film where the news gives him a notoriety that's more electrical than the characters, just talking about the killer. Still, news beats are a bit of a cheat code in filmmaking. It's a quick way to provide exposition when exposition is the most boring part of the movie.
When the film reveals who the killer is, it's clear the movie is trying to homage Scream more than it's attempting to make its own creative stamp. When we find out who the killer is, it's nothing unique or surprising—just another "oh, okay" instance of disinterest. The flaws could be enough to drown the film, yet it's not as the narrative is strong enough to float above the water of boredom.
There's enough chemistry between Olivia Holt and Mason Gooding to make the flick work. Underneath all its blood, Heart Eyes is about a girl who needs to dispose of her cynicism. Ally doesn't care for Valentine's Day or love itself as it feels too fake for her. There is no true love, just attraction. How did this girl wind up feeling this way? A few good or even just one powerful breakup can shatter the human heart. As you can guess, Jay helps melt Ally's bitterness with his high spirits and good looks. The love story is pretty basic guy meets girl at work, girl starts to fall for the guy in the office scenario. If not for the spot-on jokes and fun kills, the movie wouldn't be anything worth remembering. To be honest, the movie isn't that memorable. That's okay, as most movies rarely are. Heart Eyes isn't a film I'd recommend making the long trip to the theater for. Wait for it to be available on streaming, as it's the perfect stream and chill movie to share with your significant other. That is, as long as they're not squeamish to blood.
Hert Eyes releases in theaters nationwide in February 7
